Ink The Psyche

Life, Leverage and Limits — A blog by Amaresh Swain



As I smile back I feel…

When I am in the crowd
When I look out for an escape
And so lost from far
I see no face but yours.
A smile that encourages me to go on
A smile that petrifies me
A smile that makes me blush
And makes others feel like I have a secret to reveal,
That’s when I am with you – I feel. I feel.
That’s when I feel 
That my sweet li’l heart has been
So stolen as if in years, It’s not been seen.

Then comes a smile on my face
That makes me feel that I am nobody else.
So singled into the corner of my heart
I am so myself to you,
That smile I must remember to the end
Among the moments – best few.

Wish you the same…

When the things move far
And persons get closer,
I call it sickness.
It’s when your silence talks
And I have no language to translate,
When I have the dream so blind,
I can taste and feel.
I can listen and smell,
But can’t see you in my dream.
I die for living.
I cry for laughing.
And I scream.

It’s when I can understand what you feel
And I don’t react
Because I don’t know how to,
I can’t connect them with my thoughts.
I am confused
Like a school boy in the candy shop.
I am forgetful
Like the old man who had a hundred replicas of his key.
Life seems to be a labyrinthine maze.
A transparent fear, in the darkness, I chase.

…so candid; my life had been YES or NO.
A lot many things happening in life
For the first time,
Or have a last time show.
So perplexed the logics
That seeds my mind,
The graph, the trend or the decision tree,
All are disconnected, all are loop free.
The bell and the bouquet,
The flowers and diamond,
The persons to wish and the relatives to embrace,
I am imprecated,
But I pretend
To match your grace.

You leave and live,
I am here.
If I am true to myself, I am puzzled.
And Yes, I have some fear.
But believe me, wherever you will be: far or near,
You’ll always be so dear
To my smiles and to my tear.

The thoughts are now
So much in synch,
When you come across this poem,
You will say
“Wish you the same”;
I know. 

Forgot to Tell You That…

It was september when you came;
I was trying to find someone
In the clean and bright sky and an
Innocent star fell in my hand whom
I quietly accpted and loved.
It’s been years we lived this bond,
I’ve never thought how many
Incautious decisions we made,
Inculcation of some intimate moments and
Impostures that we had played.
It was fun.
I lived my life more than expectations
I and you and then some…
Illusions of your existence here;
I remember.
Intoxicated with time,
I,  in September.

Yes We Had A Story!

All they ask is
How it comes to my mind,
And I tell that
It’s just something of my kind.

As we met and just fell in love;

Do not know how.
If they ask how it happened,
Need not worry;
Let’s pretend
That we had a story.

Open up your heart

And feel the breeze
Around, it’s the one
In which we
Used to walk hand in hand
And freeze.

Sometimes you, sometimes me,

The story was the same,
The writer was different though;
To your memories,
Only that story I owe.

In this way the story proceeds

From mind, each others’ memories we remove.
Now we were strangers, so.
And when we met the next time,
We again fell in love.

Let’s that story make them think,

Can something go?
Like this?
Or in our story
Something we miss…

To tell others…

Keep it in your memory;
We have to pretend
That we had a story.

Slam book…

I started loving the butterfly and the dove flew away;
The flower, the smile and the eyes have made their way!

The Beginning!

It’s silence
Increasing with the depth of night
When all the party men went inside;
I stand on the brink of my terrace
Trying to adjust the lens to capture the moon
One fine evening
Love will come sliding down my chute
And whisper.
In my Eyes
The dreams begin to take patterns!

Thus we lied again…

7:49 AM
Amidst the allurement of a September morning’s glory,
We woke up with our incomplete story.
Two dreams left half-way…
And some blabbery of irremembrance, to our dismay.

You told me, “I dreamt of something crazy” and I said, “Me too”
I said, “tell me”.
You said “why me?..first you.”

In this conversation I forgot my dream
And made up some story for you;
You just tried to make yours better;
Interrupting me that I was cheating on you.

There came a good morning
And good stories to say…
Over a morning coffee,
Thus we lied again..
In a thoughtful way.

Or just Chuck Pebbles?

Is it time I should sit silently
Or just chuck pebbles into the sea ?
When I say “I am what I am”;
And they say
That I am different from me.


The days get shorter and nights longer
I sit and sit and think,
There comes no sight
That hints on a solution,
I stare at the sky without a blink.


The more and more I say it loud,
I find in the sky,
One more cloud…
Weeping like a confused baby in the street;
I quit thinking
And promise not to do it again
And then silently I sit.

On the sea-shore,
Everyone is confused like me:
The moon, the tide, the star fish and the wind;
I chuck another pebble into the sea,
And stand up, to go home;
Thinking again…
That I have changed my mind.

And I Ask Her

Life now
Is just A B C D
The voice of heart is in vowel’s harmony;
After missing the past in the crowd of time,
There find I, no meaning of “greater or less or equals to”;
That’s, to my ears,
The eighth solfege syllable in symphony.
Now trained, my brain
To add and subtract in mind,
No need of Math.s-table is there;
The past runs after me,
Do not know why.
She waves her hand and tells,
To stop for a moment, she yells;
Do not know what that bible is,
But the moment our eyes meet,
It reminds me of those fables,
The last-night-half-read novel,
My fairy tales
And my mutilated multi-tables.
Here cometh a seventh season of no time,
It passes like others,
Leaves behind a souvenir then;
The Arithmetic of life doesn’t end here,
I try to forget the past,
One, two, three, four,
Many times, but in vein.
Times back,
In my handwriting notes
All those corrections,
Crosses and tick marks,
And the lines of rules measure;
All those seem the same to my eyes: past.
And I ask:
Is the past, to heart, so closer?
To my interrogation,
Smiles and replies she,
Come back in time,
Will tell once you meet me.


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