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Life, Leverage and Limits

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amaresh

Diary of a soldier

All borders abandon;
All religions scrap;
All sights vanish;
When it gets dark.
 
Thoughts prevail, and the dreams,
To live one morning more.
And to those blasts,
One more scream.
 
Heads roll,
Triumphs count;
Silence makes sense while none is around.
I starve for days, I do not sleep for nights;
I still serve those lazy cowards;
And for them, I fight.
 
I see fireworks from guns in Diwali,
Colors in blasts and blood in Holi,
Sacrificing my soul on Mahram,
Slaying the enemy on ‘Eid,
Praying for peace on X-mass,
But all I see is colorless.
 
I see only wars,
I see only hatred,
But life is colorful they say;
They call this fire red, brick or orange,
They call this snow white,
They call these uniforms brown, dark and green,
But the only thing I see,
The only color I recognize,
Is that the ash is grey.
 
© Amaresh Swain
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Nirvana

In an endeavor to quench the insatiable mind n heart
To blow out the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion
I search it at the slip of tongue of gossipmongers
In all discontinued traces of baile
And in the paths subjugated by life’s impatience and haste.

When I go that no-rebirth way
I wish I lived each moment of life
As it won’t ever come again they say
in non-individual existence of my inner soul
in the liberty from sufferings
in freedom from stench of distressful karma
in eradication of dissatisfaction, impermanence, soullessness.

I dream and I live
Nirvana
the perfect peace of the state of mind
that is free from craving, anger and aversion
I live at peace with the world,
having compassion for all,
giving up obsessions and fixations.
The existing volitions get pacified
When the metamorphosis starts
Of insight, deeds, vision, righteousness, virtue and mindfulness.

I search everywhere
An ideal blend of rest, harmony, stability and joy.
I believe I get
in purity of someones eyes
in touch of someones care
in intimacy of someones scolding
in simplicity of someones nothingness
I believe I search
Nirvana
The ineffable ultimate state of attainment.

In a sense of “Great Self”, “Great Bliss”, and “Great Purity”,
I often feel
With the emancipation from ignorance and the extinction of all attachment,
I live it just.

Forgot to Tell You That…

It was september when you came;
I was trying to find someone
In the clean and bright sky and an
Innocent star fell in my hand whom
I quietly accpted and loved.
 
It’s been years we lived this bond,
I’ve never thought how many
Incautious decisions we made,
Inculcation of some intimate moments and
Impostures that we had played.
 
It was fun.
I lived my life more than expectations
I and you and then some…
Illusions of your existence here;
I remember.
Intoxicated with time,
I,  in September.

Slam book…

I started loving the butterfly and the dove flew away;
The flower, the smile and the eyes have made their way!

Thus we lied again…

7:49 AM
Amidst the allurement of a September morning’s glory,
We woke up with our incomplete story.
Two dreams left half-way…
And some blabbery of irremembrance, to our dismay.

You told me, “I dreamt of something crazy” and I said, “Me too”
I said, “tell me”.
You said “why me?..first you.”

In this conversation I forgot my dream
And made up some story for you;
You just tried to make yours better;
Interrupting me that I was cheating on you.

There came a good morning
And good stories to say…
Over a morning coffee,
Thus we lied again..
In a thoughtful way.

Or just Chuck Pebbles?

Is it time I should sit silently
Or just chuck pebbles into the sea ?
When I say “I am what I am”;
And they say
That I am different from me.

pebbles_amareshswain

The days get shorter and nights longer
I sit and sit and think,
There comes no sight
That hints on a solution,
I stare at the sky without a blink.

pebble-beach

The more and more I say it loud,
I find in the sky,
One more cloud…
Weeping like a confused baby in the street;
I quit thinking
And promise not to do it again
And then silently I sit.

On the sea-shore,
Everyone is confused like me:
The moon, the tide, the star fish and the wind;
I chuck another pebble into the sea,
And stand up, to go home;
Thinking again…
That I have changed my mind.

“Unquoted…


Dazzled, came one night,
The earth, stopped for a moment,
I felt my lonely tears turn into ink,
Making my pen to talk,
To talk to the deaf ears of the world,
That whatever you may do, you can’t bury my words.


Just like that, a moment averted from my path,
I started living the salvation,
It commenced, at the very moment, to limn,
All those thoughts and imaginations I did hath.

I forgot myself in the crowd,
I forgot to make you feel thyself,
Who once for possession of own, made me proud,
The moments long back I long to belong,
Where, on the seashore, I had left my flip-flop.
I feel as if I hadn’t lived those moments with thee,
As if the shore has been forgotten by the sea.



Like these lines above, to add a few,
I can write just to make you feel my view.
It’s simple now to say,
What made my life was,
You and only You.

Wasteful Potentials!

When I stopped by the bus stand,
I just waited, wet and dirty,
Others came and boarded,
I was behaving insane,
I was looking at the rain
Now and then.
I just thought who made me stand like that?
And I found,
The earth is round,
When I walk away from myself,
I come back to me,
And surprising it sounds.

I wake up in the morning and see;
There is no one for me.
I wasted the potential
Running after others
They did not ever care
And now that I stopped,

I feel lonely,
And to run again,
I do not dare.
I feel it and scream,
Oh my sweet past!
About you, I dream.
Stop being away,
Come, once, nearer;
I can show you what I see.
The potential that cries inside
The spark that starves for opportunity,
And the boy standing alone,
Waiting here, for the next bus,
And everything but time is free.

…And my missing Words!

…just got time to say a simple ‘Hi’
When in a fragrant morning, I checked a sweet mail of thy.

Red is green and green is blue,
Yellow, black and white,
Here comes no hue;
Just needed to tint the world a little,
But it’s colorless without you.

Oh my words! I dare not call thou dear.
Deep in my heart, I have an unidentified fear.
Silence prevails
And so doeth solitude,
I fear one day, it’s ye, I may lose.
So I think which of the patterns to choose.

A moment came…
The bell rang!
No answer came through;
The words to the deaf ears,
You have invoked though;
Sometimes I feel
I have to go back analyzing my life
And to relive those moments,
All through.

Waiting for your reply,
Waiting here for centuries
Or some extra hours, to add a few.
Some times rude, some times sweet.
Some times to express, some times to be quiet.

Miss you a lot, no matter I am busy or free;
I feel myself as lonely as square root of three.
…Do not know what happened to thee,
For a ceremonious comeback of yours,
Waiting here is me.

Out moving is the darkness with tiny lights spreading the hue;
A confluence of glittering moments,
Oh my words! I wish to wish for you.

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